If you ask almost any ultra marathoner, they will tell you that you have to have a "why" when running ultra marathons. Once you pass the coveted 26.2 miles you officially enter into ultra marathon territory and that is no cake walk. I learned the hard way last year while being in the midst of my first ultra marathon (50k) that your "why" has to be powerful. That it has to be right in front of you at all times so that when you hit those "lows" you have something to bring you back out. At that first ultra, my "why" was to simply prove that I could do it. Not the right direction I needed to go in. It needed to be more personal and hold power. After that race and being disappointed that I didn't hit my goals, I thought long and hard about why I was running ultra marathons and what they meant to me.
At the time, running 100 miles was never even a thought for me. As the months passed by and the itch began to grow to continue to challenge the distances I was running, a new "why" came to fruition last May into June. I was in Michigan visiting my family with my daughter and spending Mother's Day with my Mom, when my world seemed to come crashing down on from all angles. My Mom was not feeling well most of our visit and the day that we flew back to Texas was the day she went to the ER and a soft ball sized tumor was found in her uterus. On top of that, my Grandpa took a fall and was in the ER that same day. A few weeks later we were back in Michigan. My Grandpa was diagnosed with lymphoma that was spreading rapidly through his bone marrow and put on hospice care and sent home. My Mom was scheduled for a full hysterectomy to have the, most likely cancerous, tumor removed. Talk about a s*!t storm all at one time. I was also gearing up to be the crew chief at The Badwater 135 for my friend, Neil, so my training was increasing weekly. I made it home in time to have a final talk with my Grandpa before he slipped into a coma and then slowly and painlessly drifted away over the next few days. My Mom was diagnosed with stage 3 carcinosarcoma of the uterus and was still hospitalized when my Grandpa had passed.
I didn't really know how to process all that was happening. As the realization set in that my Mom was going to be fighting a very aggressive cancer, I made the decision to dedicate my miles to her. I never want to know what it is like to have cancer...CANCER SUCKS. My Mom was given two routes for her treatment and she chose to take the most aggressive route. It was going to be tough. It was going to hurt. It wasn't guaranteed to work. She was going at it head on.
As the months went by and her radiation and chemo treatments took her hair and energy, she remained amazingly positive. In late October, after finishing my first 50 miler, I asked her if she would be at the finish line for my first 100 miler. I told her I was running it for her and the amazing fight that she was putting up. She tried to talk me out of running 100 miles 'cause she thought it was too much. But simply put, it was nothing in comparison to what she was going through. She agreed and we booked her flights. All of this was dependent upon her getting clearance from her doc as well. On Dec 22nd, my Mom's final scan and blood work revealed that she was cancer free. This was amazing news and she was cleared to fly to Texas.
On Feb 3-4, 2018, my Mom was there though it all. She helped my husband crew me as I made it to my 1st 100 mile finish. Knowing what my Mom's body had gone through the previous 6 months made the hurt that I was experiencing not seem so bad. Im' not going to lie, there were many times when I thought I couldn't take one more step. In those moments is when I had to remind myself why and what I was doing this for. Plus eating helped too...haha. I crossed the finish line hand in hand with my husband and my Mom waiting for me at the finish line with her awesome, and so fitting for her personality, pink wig on.
The reason I run all those miles has to be powerful because in those low of low moments, that "why" can bring us back out of that low. It can have the power to surge you forward in a way that you didn't think was possible. It can cary you to the finish line that seemed so far away.
Samantha
Blissfully Fit Mama
